Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
