Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
