you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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