Me. At least after what I've been through.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
