Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
