Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
