He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You need a sexual gate keeper
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
