Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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