i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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