She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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