Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
