Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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