i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
