Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
