i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
