And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
