Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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