This is not my ceiling
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm always down for nudity.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
