I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
