so explain again why im purple
no
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
