PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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