i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
