Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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