so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
