Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
