Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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