I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I supernannyed him into submission
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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