Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize
