I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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