The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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