do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
