I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
