Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
