if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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