I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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