Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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