wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
