Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
