How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
