i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
