just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
