Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
