Sry I called you an 8
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
that is very illegal...i love you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
