oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
