so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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