When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
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