David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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