i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
