using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
