Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
zippers are such a cool invention
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
