Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
