"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I understand Curling. That high.
we're making bets on your personal life
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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