I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
